- For the love of God, please cover your mouth when you cough. You're sick. It's really rude to just cough all over the place. I mean, you should cover your mouth when you cough anyway, but especially when you're ill. Geez.

- Let me be clear: the only reason I care about going to these things is for her. The rest of you I'm happy communicating with on Facebook. We have absolutely nothing in common and my life is really none of your business. I know you don't approve of my life choices and frankly I don't give a damn. I am who I am, and if you can't accept that I don't want to be around you. So I'll be the good niece/cousin/whatever. I'll smile. I'll entertain your well-intentioned but so misplaced questions about my life. I'll even put on a dress and go to your church. I'll even act like I care about the sermon. But just remember: I do it for her and her alone. I'm as black as a black sheep can get, and I am totally okay with this.