that was a bad experience. but i reassure you, not all the guys you meet will be like that. The ones who are loving and nice actively hate rapists and will want nothing better than to see them jailed, or brought to justice. I think that you can slowly move on from this experience .. and maybe slowly overcome your trauma and flashbacks. Of course, i know it won't be simple. but it can be done. What happened in the past remains in the past, and you can overcome your painful memories of it. I know that a lot of other people have went through similar experiences, and they're all much happier now. It's going to be the same for you.. stay strong.
I think that you should actually get into more calming, peaceful stuff.. like humor movies and calming music, and doing happy healthy things like playing with friends, and enjoying yourself. Stay safe
You deserve to be happy, and i think that nothing will start off your happiness than a smile.. so here's hoping that's what my response will give you.