[hocus pocus]

Hi there,

What you've been through is rape. Even if you did initially consent, you later asked him to stop several times and he did not honor those wishes. Your ex-boyfriend is at fault for continuing despite you asking to stop. Here is a thread that can give you some more insight on that.

Have you talked to someone about this before? If not, I suggest you talk to someone that you trust about or a professional about it. It's unhealthy to keep your experience and your feelings inside your head; you need to talk about these things in order to heal. If you don't want to talk to anyone in your life right now you can refer to this list of hotlines. Perhaps you can also keep a journal or a blog to healthily express your feelings.

Take care of yourself and feel free to send me a message if you need anything.