[Paint]

Hey there! Welcome to TeenHelp!

I remember the first time I gave in. I went through a similar thought process as you; at first it seemed tempting but it looked to painful so I decided to deal with things in a different way. But one day something just pushed me over the edge and I went for it. So I definitely can understand and relate with what you're struggling with. I'm glad your friend is concerned for you and asked you to get help. Stumbling upon TeenHelp, I assure you, was not a bad thing! Personally I may not be able to offer groundbreaking advice, but the support you will get here is beyond measure! I am sorry that other sources have not been as helpful to you.

First of all I want to address the part where you called yourself pathetic. Self-harming does not mean you are pathetic. You caved in and it's okay to forgive yourself. The thing with self harm is that it can and most likely will become very addicting if you don't stop in the beginning stages. I know people who have incorporated it into their daily routine because it's just something they have to do. I'm glad you're seeking help in the beginning, recovering and moving on from this is going to be slightly easier -- not saying this will be an easy process or that you don't have it as bad as another person, just saying that reaching out now is better than if you were to months later.

You've already been linked to the alternatives list above, but if you're looking for more of a distraction besides that, here's a tip: do you have a passion or a hobby that you get really fired up about? A sport, an instrument, anything? Do you like to write? Try to focus that energy into something else, something worthwhile. Personally, I really like art, and whenever I get the urge to cut, I start painting or taking my negative energy and just scribble/sketch something. Another thing I like to do is just go online and distract myself! Talking to friends or other people, even coming on TeenHelp can be a good way to distract yourself. It's all about diverting your attention elsewhere, which can be really hard. Believe me, I know. The rush that self-harm brings you, and that feeling of reality it gives is something that's hard to top, right? I think the biggest thing here is finding something positive that gives you the same feeling, or something at least not so bad. Putting ice on your wrist mimics the same sensation and is obviously a much better way to deal with things.

If things are building up to the point where you are self-harming, I hope you have the appropriate support in your life. If you ever need someone to talk to, please know that there are sources. You can PM/VM me at any time, and a lot of other people here are willing to offer support as well. You can also try calling a hotline if you feel that it gets so bad. Seeking help online is important, but if you can also find a support system offline, you will be good to go!

I hope you found some of this helpful, and if not, I apologize that I couldn't offer much advice. But please know that my support is there, and if you need anything, you know where to reach me!