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TW: SL,ED, SI Anxiety, Depression, Nightmares?, light therapy, ED -
December 2nd 2014, 09:33 PM
This thread has been labeled as triggering by the original poster or by a Moderator. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.
I am seeing my therapist in two days. I have a lot to talk to her about. But I just don't know how to go about it.
My depression is getting worse and worse. Everybody is annoying the hell out of me. I have not relapsed in cutting but I have started biting myself again. I bite my self a lot on my cruise because I got so frustrated. I'm unmotivated to do much. I think I might need to go into PHP but I don't know if she will allow that.
My anxiety is throw the fucking roof. My social and general. On the cruise I couldn't go on an elevator that had more than five people in it. The crowds were ridiculous and I couldn't handle them.
I think I am having nightmares nightly but I can't remember them when I wake up so I can't be sure. But I do wet the bed and it sucks ass.
I want to see if I can do the DMR or something like that. The light therapy so i can maybe remember my trama and then hopefully remember the nightmares.
I need to process the fact that my grandpa has always hated me. I know he loves me but he also hates me. He spent a whole trip ignoring me and talking to strangers then when my grandma said something about it he said he tried to, so he was ignoring me on purpose.
My Ed thoughts are getting worse and worse. I am about to relapse. I already have a plan for when I get home because I am fat and disgusting and very ugly to look at. I just want to starve myself and if I eat then to purge. I also want to cut all the fat off my body. So yeah.
I just don't know how to address all of this to her because I've only met with her once.
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