[Kate*]

-- I want to talk to you more than anything, to believe that you could somehow make it all okay, but your position has changed and I know you are no longer on my side. I want to believe that I can earn one more chance (without making you look bad) because you were so AMAZING through everything that I don't want to do that. I screw myself over if I lose your support in the process. If I stay I need at least ONE faculty advocate, but I lost you and I know it was my own doing. I'm really starting to wonder how much of this was a self-fulfilling prophecy of failure. I knew on some level that I would never make it and I eventually forced, even the ones who never gave up on me, to agree that it could never happen and turn their backs. I know I was given every chance and I'd be concerned if this wasn't your last straw, but when I say I don't give up, I MEAN IT. Even if I lose, some of your questionable treatment of me will likely be uncovered.

-- I know I've asked for too many miracles, but could I have just ONE more?! PLEASE?!

-- Don't you DARE try to tell me that I was dismissed or considered inactive before 2 days ago! By the way, I stil don't have the written notice and I swear the most I got was a warning and was never remediated for the "professional behavior" I'll take responsibility for my actions, but at some point you have to too.