Thank you all
She was telling me she'll be ok soon, I'm convinced she will, I promise she will
I have repercussions from last night but I deal with them, I've told her what I feel about it and she's sorry and I keep saying its ok to everything hehe!
The smoking and the alcohol was used exactly as a release. She's been given mood elevators which cause suicidal side effects :/ I don't know if it's true.
And we've been together for 5 months and I'm happy, because this is yet another crucial point we have passed together. We were talking about our future. What we'd do in 50 years, Our dog were going to name Kurt and the last one, far more personal
Lets just say umm...children! Not just yet though! Too early! And one thing that really touched me, she said 'babe, you know that bit in the titanic where the two old people are one the bed and the water is rising? That's us.' And it made me think, she does love me despite what she does and I really do love her, no matter what, I can't describe my love for her! Conquers all!