[Kate*]

Hello there and welcome to TH It sounds like you've been dealing with a lot for a long time and I'm glad you're ready to reach out; it takes a lot of courage.

I'm not a parent, so I can't answer your last question from that perspective, but I can tell you that parents react in a variety of ways and you know them best as far as predicting how they'll react. You can't control how they're going to feel about what's going on, but you can decide to have the conversation that you know you need to have. I can understand feeling guilty about disappointing them, but I think you've done the best you could to cope with the resources you have available to you and whether you have the conversation or not won't change their feelings about what's happened.

As far as having the conversation, THIS ARTICLE may help. It's best to do it when things are calm and when they aren't busy, or to set aside a time to talk about it. If telling them is difficult, you can write them a letter, or make yourself bullet points to make sure that you cover all the things you feel are important. If you think they already know that you use drugs, you may not have to confess, they may ask. If you can, it's best to at least try to tell them if it doesn't come up. You can't go back and changed what's already happened, but you can change the future by reaching out to them for help. I know this is difficult, but you can do it. Good luck