[hocus pocus]

I think you should only worry about yourself for a little while. But if talking to her helps you, perhaps you can try other methods of communication such as email. And don't worry about the direction the thread is taking, this is your thread and you can talk about whatever you'd like to. It's good that you haven't smoked or cut for a few days! Every second is an achievement. This thread may give you some clarification on the different forms of self-harm if you'd like to check it out. If you have attempted suicide recently or are in danger of doing so, reach out to someone as soon as possible so you can get the help that you need.