[madeofamethyst]

I don't have a lot of friends in real life. I have a bunch of people I'm friendly with, so in class I'll have people to work with and chat with, but I don't have any serious friendships, where we both feel equally close to each other.
I'd say there's only one girl I'd call my good friend, but at the same time, It makes me uncomfortable because I know she doesn't feel nearly as close to me as I feel to her. She's got other friends that she hangs out with and seems to like a lot more than me, so I'm not sure how I feel about our friendship.
There were a couple people online that I had become fairly close to, and we were/are all a group of friends together. But lately I've felt more and more...distant from the group, mainly because one girl (we'll call her M) interacts with everyone else together besides me. I don't really know what happened...M and I used to be super super close, but now she just seems so disinterested and... bothered by me. I'm too afraid to talk to her about it. But I get really down over this, because I thought the people in this group were the best friends I'd ever had.
And there's another girl from the group, call her B. She talks to me quite a bit and acts like I'm her only real friend, but she has other people she talks to and interacts with seemingly more so than me.
I know I probably sound like a really, really jealous person, and to be honest, I kind of am. I've had so few friends for so long and I've never had a true best-friend type friendship, because no one has ever felt as close to me as I have felt to them.
I guess I just don't know what to do. For a few months I thought I had this really great group of friends, but now it feels like they don't even care about me that much. Mainly that M girl is making me feel this way, because when the "group" first started, she was the one I was closest to for the longest time.
I'm not quite sure what I'm asking for specifically. I just don't know how to make friends that actually want to stay with me.