Hey guys,
This is sort of a rant, because I really need to get this out of my system, but if you have any advice, I would really appreciate it!
My current school is good. They have the highest IB average in Asia. But the thing is that I'm currently trying to get into boarding schools in the UK. My current school has this high IB average because they only let like thirty students take IB (the smartest thirty), and if a person starts doing badly, they'll kick the person out of IB.
The original reason that I wanted to change schools was because I wasn't sure if I would make the top ten percent cut, but my grades have gotten better and it seems that I might. However, the schools I'm applying to in the UK have amazing IB programs and with all the stress that IB itself will bring, I don't think I would be able to deal with the overarching threat of being kicked out of IB in my current school if I could make the cut.
So anyways, I've been taking these entrance exams, and I made it through the interview stage (yay
), but all the things I have going on are taking their toll. I have so much homework from school now that I'm in tenth grade (and I'm in China, so that means that I don't sleep till half past 11 on a productive day). I'm taking my Grade 10 violin exam at the Music Conservatory here (similar to Grade 8 ABRSM in case you were wondering what Grade 10 means). I took the PSAT this morning because of my school. I have entrance exams on Monday for one of the schools I'm trying to get into, which means I have to miss all the classes in the afternoon (i.e. I have a lot to catch up on). Long story short, I have a lot of stuff on my plate and I feel like breaking something.
But I think most of my stress comes from the idea that I might not get into these schools. These schools are my ticket to getting into good UK universities (my current school is more towards America, and I want to be a barrister or solicitor in the UK). I feel like if I can't get in, not only will my self esteem plummet, but my future will also be at stake. I'll end up putting more pressure on myself to get into the IB program in my school, and I already seem to put a lot of pressure on myself already. So much so that one of my teachers actually told my mother on parents day that she was giving me too much pressure (she's really chill because she thinks I give myself too much pressure as well).
Yeah so that's it. I feel like digging my head into the ground so that I can cry without letting anyone else see.
Any advice? :/
Thanks,
Kyra