View Single Post
  (#4 (permalink)) Old
ElsatheDepressionSlayer Offline
Formerly Puppy-Sized Elephant
Senior TeenHelper
*******
 
ElsatheDepressionSlayer's Avatar
 
Name: Elsa
Age: 29
Gender: Female

Posts: 777
Points: 14,399, Level: 17
Points: 14,399, Level: 17 Points: 14,399, Level: 17 Points: 14,399, Level: 17
Join Date: July 19th 2011

Re: Broke up with GF w/ depression, she can't get over it, and other stuff. - October 4th 2014, 10:31 PM

It sounds to me like your ex isn't willing to take no for an answer. You may be officially broken up, but your ex is still using you to fill the "boyfriend" role in her life. That is unhealthy for both of you. You need to cut off contact with her for now. She needs time to get over you and heal from her heartbreak, and she can't do that with you there. You two might be able to be friends once time has passed and she is in a healthier place, but right now, a functional friendship isn't possible. If you guys continue to be friends now and she continues to send you mean and guilt-tripping texts, animosity will build up, and there may be too much emotional baggage to form a friendship later down the road. If you cut off contact with her now, parting on as good of terms as possible, it will be easier to reconcile and become friends later.

You broke up with her because the relationship was emotionally exhausting for you (which is a completely valid reason, by the way). But she's still managing to hurt you in the same way, even though you two are broken up. Tell her that you need to take a break from talking to her so you can both reconcile your feelings. Once you have set that boundary, stick to it and don't answer her texts. This doesn't mean that you'll never talk to her again, but for now, you need some time apart.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pug Princess View Post

Relationships can't be just fun, worry-free and stress-free. Media makes love out to be like that, but its far from reality. Relationships take a lot of work, compromise, and resolution when you fight (and fighting is very normal, just like it would be in a platonic friendship).
This is very true. Relationships will cause stress, but they should be worth it. A healthy relationship should have about 5 positive interactions for every negative one. Yes, relationships can be emotionally exhausting at times, but they should also be lighthearted and fun. It sounds to me like your relationship with your ex was mostly gloomy and stressful (I know the feeling; I've had a close friendship with a girl who refused to help herself), and I respect you for knowing when you had to get out.