[ElectricWizard]

Thank you all for your support

I've had a doozy of a day. School was fine, I was with emma, spent as much time as I could with her, I spent 4 hours with her after school and we had a good time, until this happened:

As teenagers do, messing around with random rubbish in my girlfriend's room. I picked up a small metallic box. Asking my girlfriend what was in it, she grabbed it out my hands and threw it on her bed, I was suspicious of it, then when we decided to take a walk, I caught her off guard and ran after her, after the box. I was unsure of what was in it, but I realised it was where she kept her blades. I didn't take them off of her, I couldn't, no matter how I could try, I believed I could never get them off of her, as much as I could plead, they are her lifeline. So I hugged her and told her that she didn't need them, not now, not ever. And I now believe I failed. When I had the chance to take them, to delay her self destruction, I didn't take it, because I know it would make her worse. Her room was a mess. Ripped posters, the general teenager's domain, but with the odd spot of dried blood on the carpent...
We returned to our evening and now I realise for the whole evening, she was putting on a front. She wasn't happy, she wasn't really laughing. I don't know what to do!

Then when I got home, A text, asking me to take her blades off her and giving them back when she was desperate for them, I went under way, planned to store them whist I be the judge of how long she can last without them. But she's keeping them, no stopping her. She cut, not very deep apparently, but I wanted to tell her close friend, and I did. Emma, knew I told her, and now there is a lack of trust between us. I'm confused. I know it's not about me but I feel used up, all I have I gave, I don't want to lose her, I want to be there for her, but I'm trying not to convince myself that there is nothing I can possibly do...

She's getting good at faking it now, and now I'll truly never know the truth...