[rosepetal]

I fucking hate you, (I think). I doubt you're aware how much you've caused me, how bad you've made me feel whilst it doesn't seem to affect you at all and you can just keep going and even laugh whilst I'm finally alone/away from you trying not to cry and feeling so many intense things and trying not to hurt myself and trying not to burst. It just doesn't feel fair. And then I don't even know, disliking you and hating you is hard and confusing too and I don't know if I'm too harsh although its understandable or if you deserve it (no?) or if its right. And then I feel like a bad person. Why can't you just be a 'normal' good kind loving etc dad.