[Twinge]

I will have to risk a lot of myself...accepting reality as it is, organize.organize.organize.lessen.increase.

I don't know why I would complain, honestly, I'm completely fearless towards the situation... I'm delaying probably 1/50 of my life, even that is a lot, slowing down my process and stuff, but it's just true... you live only once.
I'd rather try to pursue my dreams first before surrendering to a comfortable life. I will get to do this only once. There is only one chance. Chances are there for a reason.
...if this is really... which it truly is, one of a time chance
to pursue something... I refused to believe in all these years, because it sounded too good to be true. Imagine that. I have not felt it until now... like it is possible to come.

And I can't believe I still don't have one friend whom I can trust to understand me.
Talk and talk, it doesn't reach their heads the same way.
If I had friends in real life it wouldn't make a difference. People here are just dull, ordinary, self centered as hell, close minded and conservative.

Wish I could stop wasting time too.
If that happens, I'm good. Sigh.