[bitesize]

I miss you like fucking crazy, C, so much it hurts. So much that I almost wish we'd agreed not to stay in contact because it's agonising, trying to stop myself going on your page all the time and waiting endlessly for you to message me back. And then loving your messages when you do, though they're full of how you're saving up to come and see me and how I'm the girl for you and I've changed your life, and that makes it so much harder.

I miss your cheeky grin and your nose ring, the way you'd randomly sing and how you'd kiss me and sigh 'You.' Your American-American accent and how you always said words like 'crisps' in an accidental Irish accent. The things you whispered to me in bed and the way you'd secretly text me while we were in work and tell me I was looking gorgeous. I can't get you out of my head for longer than a minute. I hate this.