[acting101]

Hey there.

I'm going into my third year of post-secondary education- one year at a university, last year at a college, and this year at the same college but a new program.

Every year has been a nightmare when it comes to making friends. In university I was lucky and my roommate and I got along well, and the girl in the dorm room next to me was in the same program. And through her, I met my guy friend, and it was only the 4 of us all year. Another girl would pop in and out, but it was mostly just the 3 of them.

Last year I changed schools and 2 of those 3 friends totally stopped contacting me and the other one just says hi once every couple months. And last year at school I really didn't make any friends... I knew lots of names and had people I could talk to and hang out with during class, but once I got home there was no one. I thought by the end of the year I had a good thing going with people I did a musical with but none of them speak to me now that school is over.

Now I'm just really really terrified about starting another new program with all new people. I've felt alone for so long I just really, REALLY want some good friends and I'm scared of how I'll feel if I don't make any. I guess one of my problems is I'm a bit shy...? I don't like thinking of myself as shy- more just introverted -but I've been called shy by lots of people. I don't like initiating conversations with people I don't know well, and I just seem to have a hard time making personal connections with people. People don't mind when I'm with them in class, but as soon as I don't have to be around them, no one cares to talk to me.

So this is part rant part question. What can I do this year to maybe make a change? I know a lot of people say to just be yourself and you'll make friends, but I've been being myself all these years and it's just left me alone and scared. And now this year I also live off campus for the first time, so I feel like I'm going to be left out of a lot of things. I don't really know what to do. The only people I have to talk to now are my mother and sister and I feel like such a loser because of it.