[YoungK9]

I finally got myself to tell my friend about my Depression. She was really worried. So, worried she start crying, which I felt terrible about. She told me "You always looked,& seemed happy. I never would of guessed you were struggling." I definitely hide my depression from everyone, but it's getting hard.Real hard. I'm sick of pretending to be happy. The thing is, everyone thinks I'm really happy.I don't want to ruin that for them,& make them worry.

Plus, I'm have really strong suicidal thoughts-to point of having a plan. She said that I seemed caring, but, I don't see myself as it,I feel like a selfish, worthless.
I'm trying to make others happy, because there simply more deserve to be happy, not me. I don't give shit what happens to me. At all.

She really what me to tell my parents. I told her to not tell anyone, because I'd rather not let my parents know. I just... don't know.