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Originally Posted by ~Wallflower~
Lol yeah I can't really help if guys are coming after me and I literally don't have time to answer everything... I have definitely experienced the creepiness though, like this 50-something year old guy messaged me and it was soooo fucking gross like he was like saying how all he wants to do is shower a girl with attention and that he weighs X amount of pounds and that he doesn't want anything serious etc. and I was like ewwwww like it just seemed like he was trying to flaunt himself just to get a younger girl to have sex with him... And no, I don't think being showered with attention is necessarily bad, but it wasn't even like he was interested in chatting and seeing if we are at all compatible, I felt like he wanted me to respond just to be like "yeah, you sound great, let's hook up right the fuck now", so yuck... So I deleted that message, but I feel bad cause some of the other guys are probably ok and I just literally don't have the time to answer everything and some of the guys are a little to forwards right away which makes me uncomfortable, because I don't really know how to respond to that cause I don't automatically pursue a guy that aggressively and I'm like "errrrrr.... hi?" cause I prefer chatting, maybe a little flirting, and seeing if you're interested first. So like a few of the guys have mentioned that I am really pretty after we've talked a little and that I was ok with but when they're saying things like that right away it just seems like a little too forwards, it's like "woah woah woah! slow the fuck down", and I realize that's the nature of online dating and that I can't blame the guy necessarily for approaching it that way and I think if that's all I was getting then I'd probably respond faster but when I have 10 messages sitting there and only have time to respond to 7 I am most likely not to answer the ones who are to aggressive on the get go like that cause it makes me uncomfortable vs. the guys who'd like to just chat and see if we have anything in common before going farther, but I am new to online dating so I feel like given time I'll be more comfortable with how to respond to the guys who approach me in a way that makes me feel a little uncomfortable and hopefully they'll understand and it'll be ok... And I'm good for responding overall, like a few of the guys I've been talking to consistently I am not sure that anything will come of it but they're nice and cool so I'd like to be friends no matter what, so I try to respond to as many people as I can... But it's sooooo hard cause I feel like I have to answer everyone but I legitimately can't so I have to pick and choose some where... But I guess if you are saying it's better to just be blunt and be like "no I'm not interested" right away... But I just figure guys get as many messages as myself so why worry, and like if one of the guys stops answering to me I wouldn't care, I'd just assume I said something and he's like "meh, maybe not" lol
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I get what you mean, some of the points I mentioned in my previous posts. A lot of men start online dating and put a lot of effort and time into writing creative messages, just to be ignored by the woman who won't even say she's not interested. That's what happened to two of the guys I coached. All both of us expect is a response if we send a creative message and it is read, even if it is only a "Sorry, not interested". That's completely fine. But getting nothing at all can just be frustrating (so be assured that you have our respect if you take your time to read a message and send a reply, even if it's a rejection. You da real MVP. :') ). It leads to guys putting little to no effort into messages anymore, and often times they just get tired of it and send out sex requests to everyone registered... creepy, but these guys MIGHT have some value which they're just too tired to show. But many of them don't. So I'd say don't bother responding to them.
If you want to know how many messages guys get compared to you, create a guy profile with an average looking guy's pic. Most likely nobody will initiate a conversation with you. You'll have to send out messages en masse hoping for one or two responses. I've seen both ends of the stick, men have it much harder when it comes to dating compared to women. If you're top-notch model-looking guy it's easy, though. But most are not.
But we work what we've been blessed with. Keep on trying, like I tell my buddies.
