[bitesize]

Fuck, I'm falling for you so hard. You're so so cute and funny and gorgeous and sexy and sweet and SO much fun in bed, I love a guy who can be as loud as me. That sex was pretty phenomenal and I feel like it's only going to get better. You make me feel incredible and I'm falling in love with spending time with you. I utterly forget that we're from different continents when we're together, that we have different accents and nationalities and types of English. I love that you're full of compliments and that you're cheesy and romantic (maybe you can get away with it more because you're American) and you're so ridiculously cute, I seriously wish we had longer or that we'd gotten together sooner. I love that I've introduced you to crisp sandwiches and your Irish accent is the funniest thing ever. I love your personality. I feel like I've never felt a connection so strong or a rush of feelings this intense and crazy-passionate for anyone in such a short time, EVER, there's just something about you and I hope all the things you've said to me saying the same are as genuine. You're pretty incredible.

- Most of my memories of you are of that week we were together-ish in fifth year, which is awkward. Remember that time you came and met me in my estate and we kissed under the bridge and I pretended to be scared of the trains passing overhead?? Remember when we were kissing in your room that time and we disturbed the cats?? Remember the first time we ever kissed, behind the prefabs near the entrance, and then we walked down to the station and you realised halfway there you'd forgotten your schoolbag?? Remember that really drunken night we had at your house and I woke up the next day feeling worried and you texted me saying 'Hey beautiful' and I felt so relieved... Remember when we used to talk ALL the time on msn, when you first started, and I knew something was going to happen between us?? Remember that time you and Carl came to pick me up and we sat in your car in my estate and had such craic?? Remember the time you dropped me home and we kissed on the corner outside my house - you were the first person I'd ever kissed in my estate.

I just can't believe you're dead.

-Are you annoyed at me?? I got weird vibes from you today. It's weird that I've had sex with C and still haven't told you guys (I kind of want to tell the world.) The atmosphere didn't feel quite right today.