[Paint]

Hey there!

Congratulations on being self-harm free for so long. As mentioned above, it is quite normal for folks with depression and self-harm issues to relapse. I'd like to think it's all part of the recovery process. These ups and downs are definitely no fun and I think the antidepressants you've been prescribed can really help with balancing that. Bad days happen to everyone and when one negative thought enters your mind, it's so easy for every other awful memory to flood back. It's important to remember that just because you have nights like this, it doesn't mean you're taking a step back. Sometimes I have nights where I'm unable to sleep and have all these pessimistic thoughts, but sleeping on it can really be helpful. Give yourself time and maybe write down or talk to someone about what exactly you're feeling at the core. Maybe it can help you find the trigger - which is key here.

In terms of self-harm, I sure do hope that you were able to distract yourself from doing it. As I said before, relapses may happen and if they do - learn to forgive yourself and let go. You've come this far and it is a huge accomplishment, and every time you feel the urge to cut, remember that day that you last cut and how relieving it must have felt to go all these months without it. Here is a list of alternatives you could try if the urge continues to bother you. They may not be much but who knows? You may find a thing or two on the list that helps!

Best of luck. Remember that you're strong for coming this far. PM/VM me if you ever need to, I'm open to listen!