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Hey there,

I am really sorry that your friend's parents seem to be blaming you for your friend's self harm. I want to start out by saying that it isn't your fault at all. Sometimes parents have a hard time dealing with situations like this and may find it difficult to come to terms with the fact that their child is using self harm to cope.

I want to start out by saying that we are no way a replacement for professional help. We aren't doctors or therapists here, so we can't give things such as a diagnosis. We can, however, try our hardest to support you through this difficult time!

Do you mind if I ask why you are against therapy? If you don't want to go, nobody can force you to, but remember that they are a way of getting help since they can give you some other good coping mechanisms. But if you don't wish to speak to one, is there anyone else you can talk to? You don't deserve to go through this alone. It seems as if you have your boyfriend for support, which is awesome, but maybe you can broaden that support network some. This is a list of people who can help. Some of these people may be people you wouldn't want to talk to about this, but maybe you'll find someone on that list you would be willing to?

I want to start out by saying that it is amazing that you have been clean since May! That is something that you should be so proud of. Any time you resist the urge to self harm, it can be considered an accomplishment. You mentioned that you were having a hard time finding alternatives. This is a link to a list of alternatives to self harm. Do you think you would be willing to look through that list? There may be some things on that list that you have already tried, but perhaps there is at least one or two things you haven't tried yet. Don't get discouraged, something will work for you!

It is important to take care of yourself during this difficult time. Have some "me time" to just relax and unwind, especially after a tough day. You can take a warm bath or shower then curl up with a good book or movie, eat your favorite goodies, or do a hobby you like, for example. You deserve to be kind to yourself!

Maybe you can list some reasons why you want to recover. Being able to see your friend is one reason. The fact that you are worth more than self harm and depression is another. See what others you can come up with. Also, write down a list of encouraging quotes and print out some encouraging pictures, so when you feel like giving in, you have a reminder that you CAN do this.

This WILL get better. The bad things won't last forever. Stay strong!

-Dez