[drodii]

Hello. (: I'm extremely new to using forums, so I apologize if I do something wrong? idk

Recently, one of my close friends was taken to a short-term correction center for her self-harm. Prior to that, her parents forced her into the ER, and she accidentally confessed that I self-harm as well. This all took place under 2 weeks ago. When she came back from the center, she texted me to let me know that her parents were going to tell mine about my cutting.

I had tried to convince her to get her parents to change their minds, but her dad began harassing me indirectly, saying things like he would "give me time to tell my parents I feel like I need to talk to someone." Later, when we tried to plan a sleepover, he expressed that he did not want his daughter coming over to my place until I had gone to get help at least once. I'm afraid he's blaming me for her self-harm, and that he's looking for something to blame it on in general and I happen to be the most plausible reason.

I was feeling extremely pressured and threatened, because this girl is one of my closest friends. Because I could not lose her friendship, I recently emailed my parents a letter I wrote, confessing my self-harm problems. We have not talked about it together because it's not a subject I want to discuss with them, honestly. But I am extremely against therapy or counseling. My boyfriend suggested forums, and that's why I'm here.

I have been self-harming since the 7th grade. I am currently about to begin my sophomore year of high school. I have been clean since May, but have since been having urges and on/off depression.

I would love to rid myself of self-harm, but I find it hard to find any other alternatives to expressing my emotions and feelings. Self-harm has been the only way I've known to get any relief for years.

I'm just hoping that through online help, I can better myself and hopefully overcome my depression and self-harm completely.

Does anyone have any advice on how to lessen my urges/depressing thoughts and feelings?