[Always *]

One option is to just put parent controls on the internet at home, you don't even need to make a spectacle about it, just set up the parent controls and be done with it. If you son notices cause he can't get on a website (sometimes perfectly legitimate websites are blocked) just tell him you heard some kids were accessing harmful websites and that it might make you a paranoid parent that you decided that parent controls on the internet for the time being would be best in order to calm your concerns. Don't make it sound like you suspect he might do anything, my parents used to do that a lot "oh, we put the parent controls on because we don't want you to go on bad websites" makes it sound like you think he's going to do something wrong and that you don't trust him before he's even done something - that makes him angry right away AND burns the bridge down the road if he manages to access it any how.

But I think that if he has his lap top (vs. a pc) AND a cell phone you can only set up so many restrictions (ex. idk if parent controls on your lap top will translate to every computer in the home and personally, I, for example, had a password on my lap top and would NEVER have given it to my dad so that he could fuck around with what I could access, so there is a fine line there in the use of parent controls cause you can't force him to allow you to change those settings and I don't think it would be fair for you to force it just because you are uncomfortable with him seeing porn.


Now what I think a healthier option would be would to have a talk with him, like what healthy relationships are, safe sex, mention that porn isn't the "norm" and often makes women the play things of men there (which is kind of sick and annoying in my opinion; porn is always for the pleasure of men, end of story) and it's important that your son knows this so that IF he accesses it, you, as his father, have made the attempt to instil him with healthy ideals, so this way he won't think that porn is the ideal. At the end of the day, yes, 12 is to young to access porn. So maybe you can stop it for now (parent controls blah blah blah) BUT what about when he is 18? 20? 30? Some day he can access it and, as an adult, you probably can't stop him easily at that point, so a good talk (or talkS) would be good