being self harm free is so worth it.
i just think that you've had already went through a lot.. and sometimes thinking about the wounds and scars that you've obtained in life just makes you feel like you cant handle the burden after all... but rest assured, you can overcome this. Keep in mind that sometimes though it might feel like part and parcel of life.. it isn't. You will yourself to make the choices that you wanna make... and you can make the choice to overcome it.
Please do overcome it.. we think you deserve better than hurting yourself. and you should be very proud of yourself.. you've made it to well over a year. that right there is a milestone... be happy. You deserve all the praise and good words because that takes a lot of strength and dedication.
and just keep in mind that no matter how much pressure or how heavy the burden you might face, rest assured that all those too... are mere hurdles that you can definitely overcome
have faith in yourself.. you're better than you think you are!