[mindflower]

Boyfriend rant.

You still fucking love her and I'm an idiot but its okay, you know, because she's the first love okay? But seriously.
Walk HER to her classes.
Walk HER to her car.
Say hi to HER first.
Sit by HER during band.
Text HER first, when I'm the one constantly trying to make conversation.
I'm a third wheel in my own damn relationship with you.
And she. likes. girls.
You didn't tell me you were in those shows,
you barely notice me walking by,
you hardly text me at all and when you do I'm asleep,
You talk about HER with ME, you seem interested in all of HER crap.
You still love her, nothing has changed. You want her over me and I'm the second choice. I was this back-up plan that seemed like a good idea at the time and now you're stuck and you probably want out just like Patrick did and you're gonna leave me I don't think I can survive that again, I don't think I can watch you leave because I wasn't enough. It still hurts so much, every look you give her, every word, everything you do to try and keep her in your life when... when you wouldn't even care if I stayed in it....
I'm such an idiot, and I'm going to get hurt again.
I try so hard to be perfect for you... I'll stop eating, I'll dress better, I'll leave you alone if you're with your friends, you know, I won't be annoying... I already keep half of my depression problems a secret with you because you... you don't want that...
Why don't you look at me or talk with me like you did and still kinda do with her..... What does she have (besides everything) that I don't.......