[nycto]

I love you in the most innocent way and in the most evil way, and I don't know how that can be. I know you shouldn't feel this way for me, and I shouldn't feel this way for you either, but you changed my life. I can't forget that so don't try to make me.

And it's pitiful, but sometimes I think the only reason I don't give up is because I know how much you said it would hurt you. You mean more to me than I ever wanted you to and I hate that, and sometimes I try to make you hate me so you can feel as bad as I feel. Sometimes I want you to be jealous and sometimes I want you to worry that I will kill myself...all because I get so childish. You should know this, though. I'm not as old as you are and I was really vulnerable. You can't just expect me to reveal myself and not get attached! Why did you think I could handle this?

I'm really sorry. I'm sorry for bringing you into my mess and I'm sorry for making you sad for me. I don't know how to stop wishing you were with me or looking for your face in a crowd that you're obviously not in, but I really am trying. There's not a day that goes by where I don't want to talk to you, and I already miss you.

I love you no matter how many times I say I don't. Just know that.