Thread: Triggering (SH): Self harm everywhere!
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crisco1 Offline
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Name: Cassie
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Location: Livin' in a small town world

Posts: 51
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Points: 6,898, Level: 12 Points: 6,898, Level: 12 Points: 6,898, Level: 12
Join Date: February 3rd 2014
Re: Self harm everywhere! - April 13th 2014, 02:25 AM
Hey,

I completely understand what you're going through. I'm currently trying to recover from cutting and it's honestly been one of hell of a ride, as it seems to be for you as well.

To begin, I'm really sorry about your friends turning on you, but a real friend wouldn't leave you because you're going through a rough spot. In the end it's their loss, you deserve to be treated better. Are there ways to make more friends? Clubs you can join, community events, jobs, volunteering. These are all source where you can find friends. Just know that self-harm can be a hard topic for some people and not everybody can handle it, if you have a friend and want to open up that is wonderful, but let them know that if they can't handle it, to let you know, so you can still be friends, but maybe just have to leave that portion out.

I can also understand wanting to see the blood - I've had that urge before as well. What you can try is holding an ice cube (works for the pain you wish to inflict) and put red food coloring on it, so then it looks as if you are bleeding, when you aren't.

It's fine to now want the scars to fade - I actually told my boyfriend the other day that I wanted mine to go away, and he asked me why and then told me that the marks don't define who I am anymore, there battle scars and I won the war, so I should wear them proudly. If that's what you want and your scars don't trigger you, go for it!

The goal for you though, should be to stop self-harming. I know that it feels good for a moment, but in the end it does do more damage than good. Maybe you should see like a counselor or something and talk about how you are feeling. Or open up to somebody that you feel that you can trust and let them know what's going on. Also, when you get triggered, stay away from sharp objects if you can. I like to go for a walk or just drive and listen to music when I have a bad urge. If it's really bad, call a friend, I've had nights where I've had to make my boyfriend stay with me because I didn't think I'd make it through. Just try to do something or be with somebody until the urge passes. You can get through this. If you want to talk, never hesitate to send me a PM!