[mindflower]

I hope you're starting to realize the huge-ass mistake you made. I mean, I understand why you left me, who wouldn't leave me, right? I'm a waste of anyone's time. I'm a fat, depressed, worthless, annoying piece of shit.
But I gave you love, enough love that once you were gone I didn't know who I even was.
I bled for you and you watched me fall to pieces with your new blonde sophomore.
She will never know what it takes to love you.
But you will obviously never know what it takes to love me.
I'm only human. I have reasonable desires for love. Maybe more than reasonable, but that just means that I've been through shit and I need to feel safe.
I felt safe with you. But I wasn't safe with myself, so when you left, you took my will to live with you.
Matthew brought that back. Sure, he made me want to die, and he's made me want to die for years, but he's made me want to live just as much. Something kept me from ever getting over him, and I think its because something in this universe decided that if we were meant to be together, we would be. And now we are.
You chose this for yourself, Patrick. You chose her over me. You said that you loved me, and I'm sure since then you've told her the same bullshit. And now you say you love me again...
But you know what? If we were both in front of you asking for a choice of who you love more, choose her. Because if you really loved me, there wouldn't have EVER been a choice to make.
I hope you're happy someday, but for right now, I just want you to feel this pain. This pain of regret.
Because its not even a fraction of the pain I felt when you left me.