[bitesize]

Today I had a job trial that scared the bejaysus out of me beforehand... was feeling sick with anxiety. And it didn't go that well. Partly because I have literally no waitressing experience and was learning everything from scratch, but also partly because I'm just a bit ditzy and a slow learner which causes me a lot of anxiety when I'm in situations where people expect you to learn fast.

I was there from 11am (which meant leaving my house soon after 9) to nearly 5pm and with uncomfortable period pains. AND they want me to come in on Thursday evening and all day Friday for two more trial shifts.

Which is about ten hours of unpaid work in a job I mightn't even get and where I would feel stupid for all my mistakes. When I have a big assignment and an exam next Wednesday and Thursday.

So I know they say shoot for the moon, they say keep your chin up bitesize, they say anxiety is all in your head, but life is too short to always make yourself do things you don't want to do, and I'm not going to make myself do this. I'm pretty sure.