[hocus pocus]

Your presence matters to me.

I'm terribly sorry about all that has gone on in your life lately. Any form of abuse gives life long emotional scars. Some of which are hard to work through, but I know that you can. You told him to stop and he didn't obey your wishes. What he did to you was rape and it is not your fault, at all. You're human, and you made a mistake when you lied about where you really were that night.

How long ago did this happen? You don't have to answer that question, just think about it. If it has been less than about a month you might be able to get examined to get evidence against this guy if you wish to charge him for what he did to you. Regardless, if you haven't already it is a good idea to get checked out for damage or tearing.

A lot of people receive flashbacks after a traumatic event such as this. If you can, try and keep yourself grounded. Be sure to remind yourself that you have survived the event and that you are here in the present. I have found it very helpful to say what I'm doing. For instance, it is Monday, April 7th, 2014. I am at my laptop and I am on TH. If you have a childhood toy or something like that to make you feel safe, you can also try holding it tightly.

Since you don't feel like the school guidance counselor is helping you, can you ask her to refer you to someone else? Possibly a therapist outside of the school? You can also speak to another adult at school that you trust such as a teacher or other staff member. I know that dealing with the aftermath of being abused can be really hard and embarrassing at times. However, in order to heal you have to get your thoughts and feelings associated with your abuse out there.

Feel free to message me if you want to talk!