[android]

It all started when I came to High School.
At first, I appeared like a quiet kid. The first few weeks I was normal. I ''befriended'' this guy who I told nearly everything about my interests which now to me seem quite weird. But that wasn't as embarrassing as what would follow in the few months.



The first big mistake was telling him one of his friends was attractive and if he could talk to me. After that, he didn't talk to me the anymore and worse, rumors circulated that I was gay.


The second mistake was telling a few sexual jokes that heightened the belief that I was weird further or telling what I think but people misinterpreting it as a joke. In fact the biggest rumour that spread is that I'm depressed and suicidal. This was after I made a joke to someone in class that they misunderstood. Another big one was when answering a question in my Spanish class, I picked the most 'interesting' answer which came out really badly and everyone was laughing at what I said.




After these weird incidents, I've now gained a reputation around my classmates. I still socialize with some of them, but they seem disinterested in me; perhaps because of what I said in the past or because I'm very quiet or both. There are some people though who won't speak to me anymore. There is this quiet guy who now thinks I'm strange and hates sitting next to me. His actually quite mean but somehow he has more friends than me. Then there is the guy who I thought was attractive (he was told by his friend), rarely speaks to me. The rest of the people think I'm strange but It's made worse by the fact that they think I stare at people. I suppose being quiet and looking at people makes them uncomfortable I understand how some of the things I say are indeed strange, but the jokes I made were because 1) I Was only trying to fit in. 2)Saw others do it. And I really was serious about finding some people in my school attractive. So what if it's GAY? Why does it concern anyone?

You probably thinking that I shouldn't care what others think and focus on grades....well I really don't. I put academics as a top priority but even that I struggle with because of my ADHD and OCD. What I'm trying to figure out is why am I getting all of this. Every person I've tried to befriend ends up finding me annoying and/or weird. Every time I go out with a group of people for lunch they never include me and I feel a sense that they might think I'm following them.



I didn't do anything to anyone to deserve this. I haven't harmed anyone emotionally or physically, and I try to socialize with people. There are people who are worse than me in nearly every aspect in my school (I try not to judge a book by its cover but its usually correct) and still having friends. But I'm still the weirdest person in my school. Perhaps race has to do something with it. I'm Indian and I don't really have the best looks and poor health (I don't have a low self-esteem, I know I do have physical problems)
What do you think?