I dropped about
[Edited.] just in the space of a month. I'm always hungry but I'm afraid to eat or else I'll become fat. I've always thought I was fat for my whole life, but I've never stopped eating like this before.
I have so many bruises all over me and I don't even know where they came from. My clothes literally fall of off me. I'm always so dizzy and feel sick.
I know mom suspects me but she hasn't done anything about it. Some days I wish she would. But I can't tell my parents, I just can't. When I was in 6th grade I was treated for depression, anxiety disorders, PTSD, and ADHD. Now I'm just the trouble child. Always crying and having panic attacks and making people's lives more difficult.
Dad hates me and always tells me there's nothing wrong with me and I need to shut up and behave. I couldn't tell my mom, I couldn't. She'll tell dad and he'll yell at me and I'm going to be stuck like this for the rest of my life. Wanting to eat and be normal but unable to, too afraid to try.
I don't know what to do anymore. I'm too young to have to be having these problems, I just want someone to help me but at the same time fear is holding me back. I want to be normal but I can't eat. I want my parents to find out but I'm afraid of my dad, I'm afraid he won't let me get help. Dad never lets me go to the hospital even after all this time, after all these problems. He thinks my family can help me heal when all they do is hurt.
What should I do? Is there even anything left to do or am I, once again, cornered without a way to get out?
