[mindflower]

Our bank accounts have nothing in them, they might turn our water and TV off, all because my mom has been taking our money, about $14,000 just so far, and spending it on herself for her underwear obsession or her online psychics, its pretty set in stone now that my parents are getting divorced, they actually said "well this is the end of the line, isn't it" and I screamed my fucking head off in front of everyone. Oh, well first, they were fighting right in front of my sisters so now they know and they were crying up a storm, but I lost it. I screamed bloody murder, swore, I went ape shit, I threw up on the floor, I basically called her the devil and said that she was a pathetic ungrateful bitch that was ruining our lives.
My grades suck so much. I'm such a failure. Even if my mom hadn't spent that money that could've went towards college, whatever, I don't deserve to go anyways. I've got no talent.
I'm so sad lately and I don't know why. I have Matthew, the boy I've wanted for years, and I've got music and some decent friends and all... but I'm so numb, I can't take bottling everything up. I just want to lose my mind.
I wish I could cut myself again, and not have anyone notice.
I'm a fat, lonely, worthless crock of shit growing up in a shit world.