[Always *]

I spent over a week on a paper. I couldn't edit yesterday (Tuesday) as I had to prepare for a test I had today (Wednesday).

So when I got into the writing it came out way to long (like around 1500 words over the maximum limit). I can probably get away with about 4000 words but that still means it's very long. It is only supposed to be 3000-3500 words and I have around 5000 and I have some extreme editing to do.... I am in some serious trouble, I feel like I seriously messed up here and that I can't hand it in because I am going to get a really bad grade....

I know I just need to get through this semester and I want to be ok with not doing well in 1 class but I can't be ok with it, I keep thinking "omg what if I go to grad school and i have some shitty grade on my transcript in my last semester" or what ever, like I'm really scared to hand it in because I am so so scared that my editing won't make it good enough, that I simply just didn't write it very well. Quite frankly, it is way, way to late to do anything about it, all I can do is edit it and hope I haven't completely fucked up!!!

The paper was due yesterday (Tuesday!) and I have to have drafts for 2 more papers prepared by next Tuesday so I can MAYBE keep it until tomorrow night (Thursday) but after that I need to be able to hand it in.... Fortunately one of the papers I have for next week already has a completed draft and I just need to add in my fieldwork and conclusions, plus I have over 80% in that course so I am not so worried about it so much.

But this one paper is causing me a lot anxiety, I tried putting off the editing process all afternoon and the longer I did so the worse my anxiety felt, it is making me feel sick.... Which is bad. The worst part is that if I "just got it over with", the anxiety will go away, but then I have to sit around and worry about the grading process. I only got a 68% on the last paper so I am extremely worried... Like it's making me feel panicked to even talk about it here.

I don't know what to do. I have no choice, but my anxiety is interfering with my school.