[Dream]

Where do I begin?

Yes, an 18 year old with a 35 year old is way too big a difference. It sounds like they are just using each other and don't really love each other. He also sounds emotionally abusive toward you. It is bizarre that he would want you to call him by your biological fathers name.

Your mother sounds abusive. It is not your fault she wanted you to go to a bar. You're not old enough to be in one anyway, but regardless there is no excuse for what she did. You should not blame yourself at all.

It sounds like your mother is out of control. I'm not sure how you could get her to listen though. If things get bad enough, look into options for child protective services or moving in with your father (if that is even an option).