Quote:
Originally Posted by Sarasa
I'd avoid the coffee unless you truly do want to see him as friends.
Give it 5 years and decide. I am in different to my high school and early college exes now even though we did some horrible things to each other after we broke up. You do lose the hate after awhile. It's exhausting and it's a lot better to recall the happy memories than the hateful ones. Heck my ex jumped into a relationship that weekend with another girl and I managed to get him to cheat on her twice with me only to throw it back in his face. Kind of crappy of me, eh? Then we dated again after eight months.
Also, you'll eventually forgive them or not care. It may seem hard to believe, but work on focusing on yourself and not let them consume your thoughts. It's the best way to move past that stage.
The only way to know if you feel like you're ready is to try. It's okay to feel like you'll love your ex, but try to keep in mind that you may be idealizing the love.
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So, strangely enough, I felt that I made some peace with myself last night. I shouldn't have talked to him but I did. He told me that I've been telling him we could be friends and then saying that we couldn't be and this was draining him; what I have been telling him is actually just that I'd like to be friends someday, but he misinterpreted it. but whatever, He talked a lot about how bad he felt and stuff, which kind of made me angry because it's like, what am I supposed to say? He should feel bad. I would feel bad if I was him. But I realized that the anger I've been hanging onto isn't doing me any good and I also realized that he's just not my dream guy and he's not going to be, more than likely. he's clueless and he's depressed and I don't want to make him feel bad anymore... I don't want to hate him and I don't want to be on bad terms with people anymore and I think I'm ready to let go. I might skip the coffee just because this could easily set me back by large margins or result in the two of us being delusional about the situation. But I'd like to be friends eventually just because it's nice. I told him we could be friends but we shouldn't speak frequently or about anything serious when we do talk. I think I am ready to at least see where something else might take me, and I think I just might have a suitor.
I'm not sure how to go about this as I'm a little rusty, but it's exciting as well.
Thanks for the advice everyone! All of these were very helpful. :]