[PSY]

In response to your first question, I truly believe there is only enough room in our hearts to fully love one person at a time in the romantic sense. When you discover the person you're meant to be with and acknowledge your feelings for them, all ex-partners will fade into the background. I don't believe you'll continue to feel this way once you have found that person. I've had something similar happen to me before. I held on to the fantasy of being with an ex after breaking up with them, and that fantasy didn't fade until I met someone else. I think it was a nice distraction for me, but as you stated in your case, a reality check always brought me back to the conclusion that we couldn't (and weren't) meant to be together.

In response to your second question, I think it would be wise to ask yourself what you expect "closure" to look like. For example, many people believe that "closure" involves meeting one time and having all their questions thoroughly answered, followed by a warm embrace or some sort of wonderful statement that will dull the pain of the breakup. Understand that this probably won't happen. You'll probably continue to have questions about why you (and your ex) acted in certain ways, why you couldn't work through your issues, why you can't be together, etc. You may feel the urge to meet with him again (and again, and again...), until you get all the answers to your questions. "Closure" doesn't usually occur after one meeting with an ex. "Closure" can be a long process, and more importantly, it's about what you can do for yourself, not what your ex can do for you.

In response to your third question, forgiving doesn't mean forgetting. Just as "closure" is about what you can do for yourself, forgiveness is about what you can do for yourself. When you hold on to anger, resentment, etc., you're not really hurting the other person. You're hurting yourself. When you determine it's time to let go of that self-made burden, recognize it's not about the other person at all. It's about giving yourself the ability to heal and to learn from past experiences. It doesn't mean you have to let that person back into your life, regardless of whether or not they've changed for the better.

In response to your final question, I can't give you a concrete period of time that needs to pass before you'll be ready to date again. You have to be honest with yourself. Know that even casual dates may lead to deeper feelings for a person, which may lead to a relationship. You may want to hold off on dating until you feel like you can handle a relationship in the near future, just in case you DO feel some sort of chemistry with the other person and want to take things further. As I stated earlier, I believe the feelings you have for your ex will fade once you've met the person you're meant to be with. In the meantime, you can help yourself by being honest with yourself about when to date again, whether or not you really need to meet with your ex in order to gain "closure," etc.