[Ambiance]

I got out of a long relationship a few months ago. It was a bad situation and we weren't good for each other. Well, mostly, he wasn't good for me. I wasn't perfect either, though. Anyway:

Question one: I feel like I will always love him, and not in a friend or brother type of way; he's told me this as well. I never felt that way with my first ex, and I definitely never told him anything of the sort. This thinking results in delusions of us getting back together someday, or like get married in the long run, but a reality check usually brings me back to the conclusion that I don't ever want to be with him again. Are these normal feelings to have? Can you "always" love someone like that, but keep it on the backburner if you know it will never work out?

Question two: I moved away a couple of states a few months ago. I told him I would need some space and maybe if I moved back--it was completely up in the air whether I was planning to or not--we could start over. But that he shouldn't count on it and I didn't want him to like wait for me or anything. He was contacting me too frequently, given that I told him I needed space, and I finally told him that we just can't talk. We had planned to meet up for coffee or something when I am visiting back home, which will be in a monthish, and I'm not sure whether this is a good idea or not? I feel like it would be an opportunity to really say goodbye in person and give him some closure on the fact that it's really over, but would this really benefit us?

Question three: Can you ever really be friends with someone who f*cked you over? We were best friends prior to dating, but he really, really, has done some bad stuff in my eyes. And I do think he's a good person who's made bad decisions, and I really wish we could be friends again, but right now, I just f*cking hate him and his weak constitution and lack of values. He cheated on me at the end of our relationship and got with one of my friends after we broke up, and there was a plethora of mistakes in between as well. Like I said, I wasn't perfect either, but I never did anything to him to like that. He has expressed a LOT of regret over these things, but I've finally realized that him being sorry will never mean that he's a different person from who he was when he did those things! Sometimes I think if I can forgive him as a person and just make peace with the fact that we will never work out as a couple, I would feel better, and I could forgive my friend and that girl as well, and then I would feel way better. But I'm really bitter and I just haven't gotten the courage to really forgive any of them.

Question four: I'm really starting to feel like I'm ready to date again and there's a few people that are potentially interested. I'm not ready to commit to a new boyfriend, of course, but I kind of feel like getting back out there a bit would help me. I'm weary of this because the last relationship I'm referring to was a bit of a rebound for both of us, I mean he swears it wasn't for him, but we had both gotten out of long relationships and it complicated things for me because I had feelings left over for an ex prior to him. I don't want this to happen again, and I really feel that I am a lot wiser about how to handle things this time around, but I guess I'm unsure of whether there's some amount of time that I need to wait anyway to ensure this won't happen? Is there really any amount of time that would make it okay, if I feel like I'll always love my ex to some extent?

I just don't want to hurt anyone else again.