I have posted quite alot on here abouts thinking I could maybe have anxiety and as you guessed me posting again means its bugging me again. I'm sorry for always posting about the same thing and I know I must be anoyying but it is bugging me more than it ever has so here is the current situation on how I feel.
The one thing worrying me the most is I 'zone out' basically become unaware and just stare into the distance someone will try and talk to me and I won't respond and sometimes they have to hit me to make me snap out of it. I am terrfied of interaction with people I get panicky and over think alot, basically similar stuff I have said before. I also think I may have had some panic attacks I don't know if they are, one was when I was in town and there was alot of people as it was before Christmas and I was alone and I got really panicky and kept looking around paranoid people where looking at me and judging so I just walked and walked and ended up about 15 minuets from town by a tree where I calmed down I don't really think this was a panic attack more just me being a bit awkward and jut wanting to be alone but I'm not sure. Another was from Tuesday, it was Jab day except we don't know till we got to school. While waiting I was at the back my head in my hands nearly crying and breathing heavily and not normally I was really scared my friend came over after having hers done and she came over have me a hug and I just started crying she calmed me down a bit but had to go back to lessons. So I was left with another girl in my clad who I'm friends with as we got further along the line thing I started to zone out then when I was near the front I started panicking again, crying head in my hands not breathing normally. When I had to get mine done I just put my headphones on really loud, because I know from experience I would get worse (last time I had jabs it took about 15 minuets for the nurse to get me to calm down enough so I didn't move when she picked up the needle and even then I flinched when I felt the needle so when she tried again another nurse had to keep me still) I just though the whole jab thing was just me being terrified of needles until someone in my year (who is a bit of an idiot) said that I had a panic attack on jab day even though he already had his before I got there which is making me worry if people have said stuff. And it was that which is making me worry about me have anxiety again.
But how can I know for sure without haven't to tell anyone I know? I know I'm going to start counselling soon because of my current home situation (my mum is in hospital due to physical and mental health problems, so I'm living with my dad who I don't speak to but he is at work alot leaving me and my sister to do alot for ourselves and social services are involved) but I've had it before and they said if there is cause for concern they would have to tell someone so I don't really want to say cause I don't want my mum to worry. Also I don't know how to speak out I'm too awkward I guess, the only reason my last set of counselling ended was because I didn't speak. So I want to know for sure before possible speaking to someone to get help. So how can I know for sure that I have some kind of anxeity so I can tell someone or if I don't so I can stop panicking or worrying that I might have it.
Thanks
