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I have really bad anxiety issues. I do not believe it is "clinical", I do not have a disorder. I know exactly what causes my anxiety.

But at times like this it impedes my ability to feel good. For the last 2-3 days I have woken up feeling like shit. Yesterday I broke down cause I've been trying to sell stuff online and I wasted time that I didn't have to wait for this guy who didn't showed up. I'm so overwhelmed with everything that is going on that this incident was the last straw. I got to campus and ended up being half an hour late for a meeting with the other execs because I felt so horrible i needed a while to get it together and feel calm enough to walk into the room.

I literally have no one to talk to here. My best friend and my parents like over 1000 miles away. I have no good friends here who I can talk to, no family, no boyfriend. I feel isolated a lot and I don' think that helps when I am feeling overwhelmed with all of my responsibilities.

There have been many times where I have wanted to get anxiety medications so that I don't have to feel so horrible when I can't control my stress levels. I don't think anyone would blame for not wanting to wake up feeling like shit or to not want to walk around feeling like shit or to not be forced to not do things because my anxiety is so bad that I need to step away and NOT do my work since I'm to stressed out to even keep looking at it. I know it's probably my fault. I want everything to be perfect. And I think I should be able to deal with it myself and don't want my emotions to be dulled by a stupid pill... But I dunno...