Thanks, Robin. Because of the mental health issues I've had throughout my life, my parents have always been VERY involved in my emotional well-being. This has included people I've dated. It's not that they try to control who I date (they only did that once, and with good reason I later realized), but it's that they are so obvious with their disapproval. Comments such as "you could do better" hurt so much because I love them and want them to like the people I'm dating. But more importantly, I want them to see that I'm not the girl with poor judgment and impulse control anymore; I'm a grown young woman capable of making good choices for herself.

I spent so long being the troubled teen they had to give most of their attention to, whose mistakes they had to clean up, who they had to take care of because I refused to take care of myself. I am not that person anymore. I've worked VERY hard to get to a healthy place, and the choices I make for myself, including in the dating world, are good ones. Now, I know my parents are proud of my progress and view me as an adult, but dating is the last area there seems to be trouble with. As soon as they see something off, they seem to judge more unfavorably, like if the person smokes cigarettes. Or worked a job my parents saw as unsuitable. Or if they're much older. And I'm so stuck in that "I'm the child" mindset that I have this bizarre fear that if they meet this man, they will tell me I can either stop dating him or stop living with them. Like I was a wayward teenager.

As for the eyebrows, I really don't mind. I am aware of what people would assume about a much older man with a much younger girl: that it's about sex or money, or that at least one of them is being taken advantage of. But the point is that I know the truth, which is that I was not preyed upon and I'm not being taken advantage of and he isn't creepy. I actually asked him out. I'm so used to people raising eyebrows at me because of my extensive SH scars that I really don't care what people think of me or my personal life. My friends all know him and think he's great. My boyfriend was enthusiastic when I wanted to ask him out. The reason my parents are so much trouble is because for so long they have disapproved of me and because I feel they hold power over my physical security.