[PSY]

I got Somehow, I managed to get the grades I needed for college, [Robin: I reworded the beginning of this sentence/paragraph to emphasize how difficult yet impressive it was for you to accomplish this... but you can do away with the embellishment if you think it's too "over-the-top" or "dramatic." :P] - but college proved to be just as hard. - Although my attendance did seem to be better improved, - I would still arrive late for class. sometimes turn up late (arrive late to class) (is this what you are referring to as “turn up late”?)- I was getting angrier and angrier becoming more and more angry. iIt got to the point where the smallest thing could set me off. iIf someone said something to me that I did not like, I would be up out of rise from my seat and start shouting, other times or I would completely shut down and just stop talking. - mMy tutor took noticed and took me aside and asked me what was going on. I said nothing at first the time, but I had a few friends, and one of my friends did find out about my dad. - tThis friend became my rock - they phoned (called) me most nights to make sure I was okay and that my dad was not getting violent, they offered me a place at their house if I ever needed it, they gave me a card with emergency phone numbers on it to call for if I was ever to be picked out, and they spoke to the police for me but made it out it was a friend of a friend on my behalf. I don't think I would have made it through the first year of college without that friend. This friend is also the friend who encouraged me to contact Child-line (Kids Help Phone) (please refer to bottom where it will be explained). a hotline, or telephone help line. I did phone up Child-line (Kids Help Phone). They The hotline became a safe place for me to express myself. I talked about my dad, the bullying, and the self-harming (by now I was self-harming which I was doing many times a day). there'd There would be times where I would ring child-line (call Kids Help Phone) crying my eyes out.

College was also the first time when I had any type of involvement with socials services. - I was taken to a little room where there was a collegecounsellor [Robin: Removed the second "L" so it won't immediately be apparent that you're from the UK.], and a child protection officer, and my course team leader (program coordinator). (please refer to bottom where it will be explained)and another person, tThey told me social services were was going to be involved, regardless of whether or not I wanted them to be involved. or not - sSomeone had told them about my dad. - panic went through me - wI began to panic. Was he going to get arrested? , wWhat was going to happen to my family.? A social worker came out to see met with me at college the next day and again I was shut in a room with some people and was forced to talk. They closed the case. I learned to not trust social services. [Robin: I understand that this is your story, and I don't want to invalidate your feelings or experience with social services; however, I'm wary of sending the message that social services won't help teens with alcoholic parents. Would you be willing to make a statement that suggests social services tried to help, but for (reason), they had to close the case? Or at least a statement that suggests social services can be helpful in some cases, but unfortunately, they weren't in your case?]

I was left to muddle on through deal with the situation on my own, and I transferred to a different college., I moved colleges after. It was at this college that my tutor [Robin: Is this the same tutor you mentioned earlier? If so, then we should probably remove the earlier statement about the tutor, and this might confuse our readers.] first saw the cuts on my arms, pointed at them and asked, me about them - pointing to them and saying w"What are those on your arms?", sShe asked me this in front of the whole class,. I pulled my sleeves down and told her it was nothing, when I had actually self-harmed really the night before I had used a safety pin to cut myself with.It was like I was smiling on the outside, but on the inside, I was screaming out for someone to help me and notice me and offer me some sort of way out. No one whom I saw on a daily basis at college etc did this.

I began to look for help myself on my own and found a few places resources. mMost of these were websites, and some were more helpful than others. - some websites were less helpful than others - there's two websites I use on a regular basis.
I grew to old for child-line (Kids Help Phone).
I now use another help-line this helpline along with the websites have become a safe place for me, somewhere where I can talk about things and be understood. [Robin: We can't talk about TeenHelp's competitors (which are essentially any websites that offer services similar to TeenHelp's - forums, chat room, support chat line, articles, etc.), even if they have been helpful for you. I think it might be best to leave this part out, shorten it, OR use it as an opportunity to promote TeenHelp (I'm always a fan of doing that!).]

Talking hasn't solved "fixed" or "cured" my dad, and it has not helped him stop drinking - but I do now know that I cannot stop my dad from drinking andthat is something he has to do it for himself. I still look after my dad and wake him up off the sofa on a weekly basis. Talking might not stop him from drinking, but talking about it really does help me cope with what I'm dealing with in healthier ways. as keeping it inside does not do anyone any good.