[Rivière]

It sounds like your best friend's mum has been the trigger of your relapse. After having your best friend for so long and them being someone you can go to for whatever you need, someone who's there for you no matter what, it's no wonder you reacted the way you did when she treated you in the horrific and judgmental way that she did. It shouldn't matter what religion you identify yourself with, it doesn't necessarily make you bad and your best friend's mum should have known better. Understandably she felt she was protecting their child and obviously feared for them but it doesn't excuse the way they treated you and caused you to relapse after doing so well for yourself.

Have you considered talking to someone about this? Do you have any other close friends that you could talk to or maybe a doctor? Doctors are trained to deal with all kinds of things and retain a doctor-patient confidentiality. Have you considered chatting to a counsellor tailored for exactly what you need? If you haven't it may be a good idea to because they can help guide you.

It's very understandable that you haven't talked to your mum about what you identify with considering she's very Christian and this can make you feel like she won't accept you because you're into something that is defined as the opposite of what she practices. You could talk about what happened with your best friend's mum if she doesn't already know, skimming around the religious aspect and go from there.

Remember that relapses are quite normal and they happen to us all, once you've fallen down the only thing you can do is pick yourself back up and already by posting here you've done just that. You can get through this!