[mindflower]

*this is really triggering and uses some pretty harsh language*

FUCK EVERYTHING. Just fuck it.
Fuck my mom, I hope my dad divorces her sorry ass and she leaves us for Kraig.
Fuck my dad, I hope he just pulls his head out of his ass sometime and realizes he can control some of the shit that's going down.
Fuck school, I hope it burns to the ground. I don't even care anymore if I fail because I don't have a future anyways.
Fuck health, I should just start drugs. Drinking and pills, I don't even give a shit anymore! Maybe it would help. Don't care if I'm throwing up, hell the last thing I need is food in my stomach so maybe I can be pretty enough. Fuck sleep, fuck the nightmares, I'll go days on end just to not wake up screaming like a little girl.
Fuck Cody that bastard. I can't believe I ever thought you were a decent human being. Pat makes me happy. I'm glad you've sorted yourself out. You always deserved better than a bitch like me.
Fuck Monica that bitch. Maybe guys would like you if you stopped stealing their dicks and shoving them up your personality.
Fuck Matthew, I hate him and he can go ahead and kill me he'd be doing me a favor. He never cared about me and frankly whenever I see him I feel like I need to apologize for ripping my veins and crying rivers for him. I'm the nuisance of his life and he will never ever care about me.
Fuck Mimi for wanting her life to be worse than mine, which I'm sure it probably is because I'm just that much of a sorry, fucked-up attention whore and should just disappear.
Fuck Jack for taking his side.
Fuck Pat for not giving two shits about me and making me feel like a brick in the wall, like I don't fucking matter and he could do much better. Fuck him for trying so hard to make me happy when I'll never be able to save him, when I can't even make him happy. I'm probably just making things worse, boring him, leaving myself in the dust while he's this amazing human being....
Fuck me. Just fuck my life. Slit my wrists, get me high, die young, fuck this world. I don't even care anymore. I just don't.
My life is a train wreck and I'm only 16. I can't do shit about it I've messed up so bad. No one wants me in their lives. No one needs me to stick around or stay strong. I only ever cause problems and I should just go. No one would miss me or care. They'd notice sure, but only because a weight has been lifted off of their shoulders.
I'm fat, ugly, dull, fucked up, freaky, untalented, pathetic, worthless, hopeless, stupid, a bitch, a whore, and a piece of shit. I want to cut myself so badly or swallow pills or drink my way through a bottle of wine and sleep in the bitter snow and have sex and maybe drown in the river, who cares?!?! I'm just so numb with sadness and emptiness. I want something. I'm diving head first off this cliff but I've been free falling forever and I want to hit rock bottom and die or be saved by some superhero. But he's not coming. Who the fuck am I kidding. Its not a guy, or some medical help, my friends, my family, or hope. I'm done for. I'm already dead.
Just fuck it already.