[dancinfool]

I've been going out with my boyfriend for a year (I'm 23, he's 24 so not really teenagers, sorry, but I used to use this forum a lot and trust that people still give good advice!).

He's quite open about the fact he takes MDMA (ecstasy, I literally only realised they were the same thing today, showing just how clueless I am...); and advocates it as far better than alcohol in terms of price, and the fact the 'comedown' isn't as bad a hangover, for him anyway. He says that he always has a good time taking it, can stay up late. He only takes it maybe once every couple of months, studies drugs academically so has a fair idea of the risks and is careful where he buys it/doesn't take it with alcohol (usually!); so he doesn't see any problem.

He is used to taking it in groups where everyone is, which used to be with his ex and her group of friends, and recently has been with his sister.

He's only taken it once whilst out with me, and I didn't know/realise until afterwards (he hadn't planned to in advance but he met some people he knew who offered him some). It makes you really chatty with strangers, which to me not being on it, felt like he was chatting up other girls, not something I have ever felt when he's not taken anything (or even if we've been drinking). It made me feel a bit shitty and I didn't have the best night. I told him so afterwards and he apologised. In general I try not to have too strong opinions on it, but I've made it very clear I don't want to try it/take it.

I'm obviously a bit worried about the health effects although I think in general he is quite careful, and I feel that since I drink alcohol which is just as bad for you, I can't really preach. I also have no idea how often people are prosecuted for possession but he wants to be a teacher and it is a class A drug, if caught it would be a nightmare.

My more immediate concern is that we're supposed to be going to a festival together, and the past two years he's gone, they haven't drunk at all, they've just taken MDMA. The more I think about it, the more I think that 3 days of being together just the two of us with him on MDMA would be not very much fun. I don't know if his sister is also planning to come or not but if they both take it that doesn't make much difference. I don't know whether to give him the ultimatum of either he doesn't take it at all or I just don't go. I'm mainly worried about it because if he agrees not to take it and then after a couple of drinks changes his mind that would cause a major argument, and because I don't want to feel like I'm trying to control his behaviour.

Sorry for the massive essay. Has anyone been in a similar situation and should I give him the 'ultimatum' about the festival?