[hannah.phillips17]

Since I was 15 and made a mistake of lying and going behind my mums back things have become really bad. At first, I thought maybe she would forgive and forget, but 4 years later nothing has gotten better, only worse.
A mother is supposed to be that person who a daughter can talk to and rely on and trust as well as go to for help. With my mum, it's always been the opposite. When she became physically abusive, I did what I thought was right. I got in touch with child protective services to see if she could get help. Thinking that would help anything was wrong. I have been called every name imaginable by my own mum, ranging from cu**, wh*re, sl*t, bi**h, and everything else not listed. She has told me she hates me and after finding out about my depression and cutting, she told me "if you want to go kill yourself then do it". She will get mad if we get her gifts for holidays because she doesn't want anything from us (my younger sister and I), but will get mad if we don't get her anything because then we are selfish and unthoughful people. I have been blamed for her marriage because I was three when she married my dad, being three apparently I needed a dad so she had to get married like it or not. And now everything that happens is our fault and not hers and I am to blame for our crumbling family. Her new belief is I dont respect her or anyone, but she can treat me how she wants because she is the parent.
I know and I have been reminded by several people that she has a problem and I am not to blame. But the constant name calling and put downs hurt me dispite what I am told. I have no self confidence because I walk around with what she says to me floating in my mind.
Does anyone have advice on getting her help or for me? Anything would be appreciated. I would love to even talk to people with similar situations.