[Lovehatelife23]

Well i do if they are close to me...like if someone like my Fiance calls & says they are going to commit suicide & that person doesnt answer the phone that worries me a lot bc i sometimes scream out loud that im going to kill my self but never do it. I do worry about the future a lot for myself. Well its mainly my mom bc shes the only one who drives in the family, i have my drivers license but dont have insurance or a vehicle. So ya, i worry wen im not w/ her in the truck wen shes out & about in town. In my city there is a ton of idiots that dont know how to drive so there has been a lot of accidents. Almost 1 in front of us wen i was w/ her one day. I acted like I had the breaks on my side of the truck bc i pushed down to stop...which is weird. In Arguments its different, My mom I always want to make sure her & I are on the good side. Now if its like my dad, my fiance, or cousins or something my "Guilty" gets to me to call or text them to tell them im sorry for what happened. There has been times where If she doesnt answer her phone I would constantly call her until she answers, then if she still doesnt then I call my dad to see if he has heard from her & if he hasnt then i call her again & then still nothing then i will wait but i usually do fall apart sometimes if she doesnt answer the phone. My dad says that shes ok, probably left her phone in the truck or didnt hear it, But still i go crazy until i hear her voice & then once i hear it, takes a load off me makes me feel better knowing shes ok.

Thanks & I will try to work on those things. It will be tough but I'll try. =)