[Beautiful Lie]

Right I have only posted here once before but this time it is for my boyfriends sake.

The past few weeks I have not been eating properly and it is worrying my boyfriend silly. I have been through an ED before but I still don't see the problem with not eating properly, in my opinion I am not doing anything wrong but in a day I will drink tea when I feel hungry and if I do eat it will for example be: a slice of cheese, packet of low fat crisp's and few pickled onions. I wont eat full meals I don't like eating because I don't like food, in my opinion eating is just a waste of time and it is not a necessary thing to do we are coming up to Christmas and he doesnt want me to be ill for it. I get upset knowing my boy is scared about it but I just cant bring myself to eat anything but I just don't want to eat but I don't want to hurt him.
My worry is losing him because I am not eating and am scared that he is just going to give up on trying to help me. God I am so fucked up in the head I need to make sense of everything. Help anyone does it sound like my ED is coming back?