Will try and update on here.
Have spent today feeling like I'm single. I want to party! I'm on a buzz.
At the same time i have thought about Sam all day. And even asking what she was doing after work - shes not doing anything. I wanted so much to decide to do something with her, go to pub, go round hers..
But i didnt ask her. And thats probably right.
Im at home alone at the moment - just had my first drink (alcoholic) - got loud music playing. I wish it could stay like this. I want to live alone and have no rules. Have Sam over..
I feel like im slipping into "single" mentality. but i realise that i am not single, not yet. who knows when i will actually be able to be. And that depresses me, so im here drinking and dancing on my own, thinking about Sam. Really wanting to message her, even more i want to go round there and drink some more, so i could talk to her properly.
My boyfriend and my sister will be home soon so i cant sit here dreaming for much longer
